Its been a crazy busy summer around these parts. Mostly things are the same as always though. I have a diploma but not the more money. I'm working at the church and the old folks home. doing what I do. i miss writing...there's something about typing what i'm thinking that makes evaluate my life more than most other things. I can go awhile without thinking about where I am but i can't type whats going on in this thing i call a brain without some form of introspection. Which is something i need more of... i'm more the guy who just goes on without stopping to evaluate than the overthinker who just needs to go on.

what that means is...ima try to type more often. not so much just to keep my raving fans happy but because it encourages me to think about my own life for a change.

I'm going back to NOBTS for grad school. Its cheaper than anywhere else and much easier to convince my church help pay for. both for financial (its cheaper) and theological (NOBTS is the only school in town that isn't stupidly fundamentalist or too liberal for a self respecting SBC youth pastor..except RTS, which would have been a good choice except for the money thing)

I wanted something different...but i'll probably have to get an M.T.S. or some other Mdiv+ type degree before I go get my PhD. Maybe i'll get that from somewhere else...

and maybe the masters program will be better. I know the teachers don't have to use the Baptist commentary on the grad side.

maybe they'll be allowed to present a little more varied view on things.

Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

Francis Chan

I struggle with distractions. I get distracted by things. I just really enjoy gadgets. For example: I'm writing this from a new Macbook my parents bought me for graduation. (woot, im a graduate).  I can at any given time list 5 or 6 different things I would love to own. I am the definition of a consumer. I am never satisfied, I am always looking on towards the next big thing.

Its not just objects that distract me. I waste my time in lots of places. On the internet, watching TV, doing some incredibly unproductive activity often referred to as "chillin", and in various and sundry other avenues of time wasting.

I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of wasting my time.

There are a million and one productive, kingdom oriented sort of things I could be doing at any given moment. Why on earth would I choose to waste a single moment? In the book above Francis Chan mentions a time when he was at a play with his family. He asked his grandmother why she wasn't having a good time and she said "I'm just not sure this is where I want to be when Christ returns. I'ld rather be helping someone or on my knees praying. I don't want Him to return and find me sitting in a theater."

Thats the kind of attitude I want towards my time...not thinking of doing the right things "putting in time" but thinking about everything else as wasting time. That's what I want.

This book inspired part of this although its been brewing for awhile. You need to read this book. Whoever you are. Read it. Now. Its basically like someone read the New Testament and asked "What if Jesus meant what He said?" I'm seriously not like this much. Not since blue like jazz has anything resonated with me this much. And there are no "this guy may be a theological crackpot but he's got some really good things to say" reservations like with Donald Miller or Shane Claiborne. This book is not only revolutionary...its theologically and hermeneutically sound. (pauses while you run not walk to the bookstore)

The obligatory quote:
    "In the parable of the sower, Jesus explained that the seed is the truth (the Word of God). When the seed is flung onto the path, it is heard but quickly stolen away. When the seed is tossed onto the rocks, no roots take hold; there is an appearance of depth and growth because of the good soil, but it is only surface level. When the seed is spread among the thorns, it is received but soon suffocated by life's worries, riches, and pleasures. But when the seed is sown in good soil, it grows, takes root, and produces fruit.
    My caution to you is this: Do not assume you are good soil.
    I think most American churchgoers are the soil that chokes the seed because of all the thorns. Thorns are anything that distracts us from God. When we want God and a bunch of other stuff, then that means we have thorns in our soil. A relationship with God simply cannot grow when money, sins, activities, favorite sports teams, addictions, or commitments are piled on top of it."

Besides the absolutely marvelous easter egg hunt episode of south park I've never heard a decent explanation of the whole easter egg hunt phenomenon. Its a cool outreach opportunity, I guess, but I'm not sold yet.

I was excited for awhile when my Episcopal youth pastor friend invited me to his stations of  the cross last Friday. I was looking forward to spending good Friday remembering Christ's sacrifice. Instead I spent it running around at an easter egg hunt. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time. I enjoy getting together with the church more than just about anything but I just wonder what would be more beneficial.

Stuff white people like

This was just too good. Notice the unnecessary quotation marks...
"Cross"

Church

18 "What profit is an idol
   when its maker has shaped it,
   a metal image, a teacher of lies?
For its maker trusts in his own creation
   when he makes speechless idols!
19 Woe to him who says to a wooden thing, Awake;
   to a silent stone, Arise!
Can this teach?Behold, it is overlaid with gold and silver,
   and there is no breath at all in it.
20But the LORD is in his holy temple;
    let all the earth keep silence before him."

Habakkuk 2:18-20 (ESV)

13The carpenter stretches a line; he marks it out with a pencil. He shapes it with planes and marks it with a compass. He shapes it into the figure of a man, with the beauty of a man, to dwell in a house. 14 He cuts down cedars, or he chooses a cypress tree or an oak and lets it grow strong among the trees of the forest. He plants a cedar and the rain nourishes it. 15Then it becomes fuel for a man. He takes a part of it and warms himself; he kindles a fire and bakes bread. Also he makes a god and worships it; he makes it an idol and falls down before it. 16Half of it he burns in the fire. Over the half he eats meat; he roasts it and is satisfied. Also he warms himself and says, "Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire!" 17And the rest of it he makes into a god, his idol, and falls down to it and worships it. He prays to it and says, "Deliver me, for you are my god!" 18They know not, nor do they discern, for he has shut their eyes, so that they cannot see, and their hearts, so that they cannot understand. 19No one considers, nor is there knowledge or discernment to say, "Half of it I burned in the fire; I also baked bread on its coals; I roasted meat and have eaten. And shall I make the rest of it an abomination? Shall I fall down before a block of wood?"

Isaiah 44:13-19 (ESV)

Combined with the Nooma named "Rich" I've been reminded recently of how incredibly ridiculous our obsession with stuff is here in America. There are millions of things I want...its a constant battle to not be constantly searching for something to buy (see: how often I've typed that in the past.) Look at the passages above...how ridiculous do we look? We take things humans have made and spend our lives chasing them. We cut a block of wood and decide that half of it is worth worshipping and half of it is firewood. See a problem there? Our lives are devoted to consumption. From the time we're born we are trained that to do well in life is to make more money. We look up to people richer than us and look down on those who "waste their lives" by not making going to college/making money/etc...

The question is...is that guy who decides to work at Mcdonald's really wasting his life? Who decided that? Who said that this job or that job were considered "careers" and some are not satisfactory? I understand the need to be self sufficient...people need to work. Its innate. Its biblical. Its got to happen. I just struggle with drawing a line between  "success" and "failure" based on the size of a paycheck or the nature of a job.

We no longer fashion real idols for the most part. We never say "My ipod will save me"; we just spend our lives trying to get the latest one. One of the many definitions for God is "one that is worshipped, idealized, or followed" (1) with "ardent devotion; adoration" being a definition of worship. (2) So if our god is simply what we give ardent devotion to then how can we argue that anything other than the american dream is our god? Every aspect of our lives is more shaped by our desire for stuff than by the real God we claim to worship.

What are you giving ardent devotion to?
What are you chasing?
On this Ash Wednesday it might be our idolatry that we need to repent of.

__________________________________________________

(1) http://www.answers.com/main/ntquery?gwp=13&s=god

(2) http://www.answers.com/worship?ff=1

So I got a job serving at a retirement community near me. We'll see how it goes... I have no real experience serving. It might be a little rough at first. I'm finally going to have a little money. Car note=gone... (at least once I start getting pay checks) I'm really looking forward to being debt free. (I know about the cart before the horse thing...i'm just excited)

So my MLK reading got me thinking about the whole non-violence and why I struggle with it.

I've always struggled with pacifism. My struggle doesn't come from myself...I'm convinced that following Christ demands that I give up all rights to defend my possessions and even my life. I struggle with the holocaust. People were dying overseas. Watching cannot be the right answer. If you have the power (or if you don't) to stop something horrible how can you not? Does Christan pacifism mean we don't rise to the defense of other people? I'm not down with that. Holding a sign in downtown Atlanta that says "Hitler, please stop killing Jews" is NOT sufficient. Signing a petition is not enough. Praying is not enough. Action MUST be taken.

I thought i'ld found my answer in this quote from Ghandi "Rivers of blood may have to flow before we gain our freedom, but it must be our blood." (18) This of course is talking about Ghandi's own people...applied to the holocaust (just the example of the day) this tells me that we fly to germany not to kill germans but to get in the way of them killing Jews? We essentially go to Germany to die with the Jews? I hate to sound like a traditional anti-pacifist kid because I desperately want to be against every single act of violence but that seems idealistic at best. I don't see Hitler stopping his actions because some Americans decided to get shot too. When someone is truly, homicidally mad and they have an army at their fingertips non-violence seems like a great way to usher in the Hitler world order.

I'm down with non-violence when it comes to people attacking me personally...it is the only biblical answer. If an army rose up thats goal was to break into houses and kill babies...I would have to do more than just ask them politely to stop. I have trouble accepting that "please don't" is the right answer in that situation. When the people being oppressed can't defend themselves or even choose not to resist how can standing by be the right thing to do? How is THAT love?

Thoughts?